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cara on "Ugg Bailey Button Triplet Boots Are Comfortable And Unique"

cara — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 07:58:31 +0000

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the editor on "So Much More We Can Do"

the editor — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:39:31 +0000

[caption id="attachment_222" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Sisters in Afghanistan attacked by acid"][/caption] Jules: This is a recent article about a family in Afghanistan.Their sister is seriously injured and now in hospital. Look at the sadness in their faces. These are innocent children. This is an excerpt of the news: A teenage girl and her family were sprayed with acid after apparently rejecting a marriage proposal for her. In the acid attack, a 17-year-old girl called Mumtaz was seriously injured when caustic liquid was sprayed on her face by masked gunmen who broke into her home in the northern city of Kunduz, Afghanisan, late on Sunday, her father said. Her mother and four sisters also suffered burns in the attack after they were splashed with the acid aimed at Mumtaz, Sultan Mohammad said. "It was midnight," Mohammad said from his hospital bed. "They entered my home by force, they started beating me and put me in a big bag. They moved in and started beating my wife and daughters and before leaving, they sprayed acid on my daughter's face.

the editor on "People Doing Good"

the editor — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:42:15 +0000

Jules: Sorry, no excuses. I have been absent for quite awhile. I am still looking for some direction in life and also some.....inspiration. For now, there are still many out there doing good. Here is one: Pay With Purposeful Acts of Social Good: Pay with Charity Here is a list of the possible purposeful acts of social good which the kind soul offered: Baking bran muffins for everyone on your block/in your apartment building. Offering to walk your over-burdened neighbor’s dog once a week. Volunteer to do an hour of work at a community co-op radio station. Donating ten dollars to a worthy charity. Organizing a story games club for a local middle school. Spending an hour walking around downtown telling strangers about how they’re beautiful. Give a ride to a hitch-hiker, and go out of your way to deliver them to their destination. Spend half an hour cleaning up garbage in a local park. Do something subversive that provokes thoughtful discussion about the world we live in Happy doing kindness!!!

the editor on "Writers Festival - Oppression & Inspiration"

the editor — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 15:18:02 +0000

JA: I recently attended a Writers Festival with several international writers coming from interesting backgrounds and experiences. There was the voice of the immigrant refugee poet from Netherlands and the political commentator from Egypt. Mr OWO: Anything special you learned? JA: Certainly. The political commentator named Abeer Soliman was an attractive single lady who expressed her disappointment at being the subject of sexual harassment wherever she went during the time of governance by President Mubarak. It was an oppressive regime and the behavior of the people reflected negative values in the kind of treatment and comments she had received. Following the departure of President Mubarak, there was an air of lightness. There was a greater sense of equality and fair treatment for women. Mr OWO: That is an interesting observation. The progressiveness of a government has a direct impact on how people behaved. That an oppressive government brings about the effects of negative behavior. So, it is important for the people of a country to take responsibility in voting at any general elections instead of echoing indifference. What about the poet? JA: The poet viewed life as one which he felt should not be made too complicated. His inspiration for his writings came from his surroundings in particular nature. When he sat and observed the waves in the ocean, he could write about love because of how each wave would merge with the next... Mr OWO: That again is another very interesting observation - how each person can perceive life differently and be able to produce positive outcomes from the commonest of things.

the editor on "More Words of Wisdom"

the editor — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 15:40:32 +0000

Here are some more words of wisdom from A Brahm to ponder over: If you cannot improve on the silence, don't speak Rather light a candle than to complain about the darkness If you don't believe in reincarnation, don't worry, you will in your next life When you make a fool of yourself in public, laugh. Then others never laugh at you, they laugh with you Advice to married couples: When you are are wrong, admit it. When you are right, shut up! Be compassionate to your enemies - You only have to endure them for a few minutes, while they have to pout up with themselves for the rest of their life

the editor on "Wisdom from a Great Soul"

the editor — Sun, 15 May 2011 04:49:47 +0000

testing this forum

the editor on "Wisdom from a Great Soul"

the editor — Sun, 15 May 2011 04:38:10 +0000

Jules: Any great wisdom to share? Mr OWO: Sure. Here is some great wisdom from a great soul, Mahatma Gandhi. The word "Mahatma" comes from two root words, namely "Maha" (which means great) and "Atma" (which means soul). Jules: All I remember was that he was a freedom fighter. Mr OWO: Actually, your description of him as a 'fighter" can be a bit misleading. Yes, he fought for the freedom of India but in a non-violent way. The fact that he succeeded goes to prove that there is great power in non-violence. Jules: So what kind of wisdom did Gandhi share besides non-violence? Mr OWO: Religious conflicts are the most common cause of violence in the world. We say that we are all children of (one) God but why are we fighting and killing each other in His name and with so many innocent lives lost? Gandhi provided a profound response to a militant Hindu who admitted to killing a Muslim child in revenge for the murder of his own son by militant Muslims. The militant Hindu was now prepared to lay down his weapon and did not want to carry the sin of his deed on his own death. Gandhi said to him when he came to Gandhi for advise was "You go back, find a Muslim child whose parents were killed by Hindus and bring him up strictly as a Muslim not a Hindu" Jules: But wasn't Gandhi a Hindu? Mr OWO: Although Gandhi was a devout Hindu he also had great respect for all other religions. When asked whether he was a Hindu, he replied, "Yes, I am a Hindu but I am also a Muslim, Christian and a Jew. Gandhi believed in the universality of God. He said that "....our inner most prayer should be for a Hindu to be a better Hindu, a Muslim a better Muslim, a Christian a better Christian." Jules: That is what I will be telling my children on their choice of a religion. That they can be anything they want but to be a better one.

the editor on "Earth Hour 2011"

the editor — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 15:54:15 +0000

Mr OWO: Anything special you did for Earth Hour 2011? Jules: Yes, I spent the hour immersed in meditative moments at Manasa Yoga. The studio lights and fans were switched off at 8.30pm. The room was lighted with little candles. The hour began with a dance homage to Mother Earth. Guru Manoj guided our awareness to the need to be mindful of our daily actions on our carbon footprint. That we do not act with selfishness and give ourselves excuses that the little we did would not be enough to harm the earth nor save it. The issue is whether we believe we should take responsibilty. Guru Manoj read this beautiful article written by Joe Miller: If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter, floating a few feet above a field somewhere, people would come from everywhere to marvel at it. People would walk around it marvelling at its big pools of water, its little pools and the water flowing between. People would marvel at the bumps on it and the holes in it. They would marvel at the thin layer of gas surrounding it and the water suspended in the gas. The people would marvel at all the creatures walking around the surface of the ball and at the creatures in the water. The people would declare it is sacred because it was the only one, and they would protect it so that it would not be hurt. The ball would be the greatest wonder known, and people would come to pray to it, to be healed, to gain knowledge, to know beauty and to wonder how it could be. People would love it and defend it with their lives because they would somehow know that their lives could be nothing without it. If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter. By Joe Miller, an artist in the State of Washington Mr OWO: How wise your teacher. Yes, as you evolve your consciousness to a higher level, there is more you can do beyond switching off electric power for an hour at Earth Hour. Jules: You are right. Here are 15 things we can do to Save the Planet - Cut Out Plastic Bags Buy Reusable Not Disposable Reduce Water Wastage Change to Energy Saving Bulbs Weekly and not Daily Car Wash Get Local Products Slow Eating not Slow Cooking Stay Cool Naturally Say NO to Bottled Water Recycle Everything You Can Buy Refillables Use Rechargeable Batteries Say No to Shark Fin Soup Park at the First Spot You See Less is Better Mr OWO: An hour well spent for precious Earth Hour 2011 indeed. Well done.

the editor on "Something Practical about Parenting Teenagers"

the editor — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 15:28:09 +0000

How to Learn Teenage as a Second Language By Mari Mancusi, GalTime.com We all know by now that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But once your children hit those dreaded teen years--it might seem like they're from another planet altogether! That sweet little child who once couldn't wait to jump off the bus and give you that after-school hug? She's morphed into a sarcastic, sullen alien who slinks straight from bus to bedroom--without ever acknowledging your existence. So what's a parent to do--short of locking their teens up for the next five years and throwing away the key? Psychologists Dr. Jennifer A. Powell-Lunder and Dr. Barbara R. Greenberg, co-authors of the book, Teenage as a Second Language: A Parent’s Guide to Becoming Bilingual, worked with hundreds of teens and their families and concluded through evidence-based research that teens actually do speak their own language. The authors suggest you take the time to learn teen talk--the same way you'd go about learning Spanish or French. "Teenage is a multifaceted language, says Powell-Lunder. Learning the language involves interpreting both what your teen is saying to you with words, as well as what their body language is telling you. Often the two do not match, which makes it difficult for parents to understand what their teens are really saying." For example, she says, if your teens are talking to you with arms crossed, or a hand over their mouth, or feet facing the door, those might be indications that they're not comfortable with what they're saying. They're likely withholding information and/or are desperate to end the conversation. Related: 10 Ways YOU May Be Ruining Your Kids' Social Lives "As with any language, however, it takes time and effort to correctly understand and translate," she says, insisting the process is well worth it. "The quantity and quality of the communication between teens and parents affects teen decision-making. Teens who communicate well with their parents not only make smarter, healthier life decisions, as adults they actually live longer!" Want some translations? Here are some definitions-- and suggested responses from the authors -- that every parent should know. 1. ) "Whatever" An expression that implies that a teen may give in but is not really interested in what is being said An attempt to be dismissive in as few words as possible. Suggested Parental Response: Leave this alone. Do not let your own concern that your teen may be less than thrilled create an unnecessary controversy.2.) "And, yeah..." A phrase often used just as a teen is getting to the main point of a story. This phrase serves to deflate or minimize the importance of the main point of the story especially when a teen is unsure of how the story will be received. Suggested Parental Response: This is an opportunity to respond in an interested and neutral manner. “I am interested in the rest of the story if you feel like telling me now or later.” 3.) "Fine" I will reluctantly consent, but not with pleasure. An intentionally vague description used when teenager clearly has no interest in providing further detail. Suggested Parental Response: None needed. You have made your wishes known. 4.) "I hate you" An expression used to convey anger at the moment. An expression meant for 'shock value' in an effort to secure 'alone time.'/ A last ditch effort to get you to give in. Suggested Parental Response: "I'm sorry you're upset, but that isn't going to change my answer."5) "Thanks" or "Thanks a lot" When said sarcastically, a simple expression of anger and/or disappointment. Suggested Parental Response: “Sorry, when you’re ready to talk to me maybe we can come up with some other fun things to do.” In all cases, avoid responding sarcastically. (Of course, if they genuinely thank you for something, make sure you acknowledge the good manners as well!) Remember, the authors say it's critical to remain responsive, not reactive. Think cool, calm, and collected. Your teens will not only hear what you are trying to say, but you teach them the most productive way to approach all life situations. Also, avoid the trap of asking too many questions. Don't push. If they're holding back, let them disclose information at their own pace. When opening a dialogue, pointed questions result in more expansive responses. (e.g. Ask: “Tell me one thing you learned in school today,” instead of “How was school today?”)"The tools and techniques we offer in the book have been shaped through trial and error in our own direct clinical work," says Powell-Lunder. "While we put the information we gathered into book form, it was the teens who let us into their lives that we feel we must credit. Our work with them and their families compelled us to write the book." Related: 7 Questions You Should NEVER Ask Your Tween/Teen Of course, it may take some trial and error for parents, too. After all, it's not always easy to put up with the eye-rolling and "whatevers". Their advice? Remember it's not personal, even though, at times, it may feel that way. "Teens are, by nature, egocentric. They assume that the whole world is watching them and that everything they think and feel is unique to them. Your perception of your teen should take these factors into account," she says. "If their responses frustrate or anger you, calmly explain why. Anger begets anger. It is not what you say to your teen but how you say it that can make all the difference." The authors have set up an interactive website for parents and teens to listen, learn and discuss hot topics and daily dilemmas.

the editor on "What To Do In The New Year and 10 Resolutions to Keep"

the editor — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 15:23:06 +0000

Jules: This is a new year. What should I do so that I do not waste it? Mr OWO: Good question. Shows that you are already motivated to change. It is important for the intent to be there. Otherwise, you did be like most people who either live in self denial or just lack the insight that there must be a greater purpose to life. Jules: So how can I use my time wisely? Mr OWO: Here are 10 resolutions or wise things to do for the year: Set a written goal and a date to achieve that goal Focus on your health but if you can't do that in all earnesty, then at least eliminate the health destroying habits like smoking, overeating Invest in your personal development. Attend courses, talks and read books Be around VIPs (or Very Inspiring People). Avoid VDPs (or Very energy Draining People). You will become more inspired and positive. Eliminate time robbers like the TV, unproductive errands, having long phone calls, checking emails/facebook account too often. Set aside a fixed sum of your monthly income (say at least 1% for a start) to donate to charitable causes Ask yourself these two questions: Who am I? and What is my purpose in life? Speak gently and in measurable words. The knowledgeable ones are often silent and when they speak, the message is concise and full of wisdom. Love unconditionally. Even the one who speaks of the faults of others and discriminates is guilty of ill will. Reflect on your every action, spoken words and thoughts when the day is over. There is always something to learn and to improve upon. Jules: Thank you for the wisdom on what to do for the new year. I'd be happy if I can keep even half of the 10 resolutions!

the editor on "Be More Generous, There Is More Where It Came From"

the editor — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 15:58:38 +0000

Jules: I was out with a friend last night. He is retired and a kind soul. He told me he visited a home for the underprivileged with his young daughter recently. He donated a sum of $1200 to the home which I thought was a fair bit but his daughter felt otherwise. His daughter's response was "Papa, is that all you are giving? That is only $100 a month" So she asked to have her allowance cut back so that she could do her part. Mr OWO: Great teaching by your friend. He has managed to inculcate generosity and sensitivity for the welfare of others in his child while she attempts to make a difference to the world. Even the child is teaching the father greater benevolence. We must not be stingy with our generosity because there is always more from where we receive while others do not have that opportunity. Jules: I will need to be more generous. That will be a new year's resolution. Mr OWO: You will have to put a figure to that to make it measurable and achievable.

the editor on "How Many Times Should I Forgive My Friend?"

the editor — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 23:28:47 +0000

Jules: You know I have a friend who does not treat me like a true friend even though we have known each other for a long time Mr OWO: So, you are disappointed that your friend does not treat you the way you expect him to? Jules: I have done so much for him and yet he is so calculative as to how he treats me. It is human, isn't it for me to feel this way? Mr OWO: You are giving yourself an excuse again for your own weaknesses. You do not have the courage of your convictions or you are still as ignorant as your friend. You should know by know that people are at various level of consciousness as to their life journey and therefore their understanding as to how they should treat others. Your friend is at one level. I did think that with your ability to reflect on life wisdom, yours would be at another level, a higher one at least! I do not think you are ignorant of right action and the right perspective to take on friendship. So tell me, what is your conviction then? Jules: Love all, trust a few, hate none. Mr OWO: That sounds like a great motto. I would like to add that you are also seeing the negative attribute in your friend. The fact that you are calling him your friend shows that there is still something you could see in him for you to have stayed in touch with him up to today. So look at his positive qualities. Like how you should look at life. You are alive. You have a healthy heart. You have ears to hear and feel the calmness of a gentle stream of water and eyes to view a magnificent sunset. Focus on the good. Jules: You have not answered my question yet. So, how many times should I forgive my friend? Mr OWO: Always, one more time.

the editor on "Something Special About 10.10.10"

the editor — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 01:04:37 +0000

Jules: Good day Mr OWO. Tomorrow is 10 October 2010. Mr OWO: Ah, a very special day with 10.10.10. Doing anything special? Jules: Nothing planned at the moment. Mr OWO: Let me give you an idea. Why don't you do this. By 10.10 am tomorrow, do 10 good deeds. To make it easy on you, it can be anything like: Pick some litter from the park Give your kid a hug and telling her how special she is to you Visit your mom and telling her that you love her Bringing your children and some titbits to the nursing/old folks home to share with the lonely people Plant a tree (maybe make it 10 trees!) Meditate for 10 minutes and dedicate it to world peace and the wellbeing of the environment Give someone a lift Buy a stranger a meal Walk instead of drive Give your love one 10 kisses Jules: I have an idea. Why don't I get my kids to do 9 good deeds by 10.09 am and to save the 10th good deed to be done at 10.10am. I can turn it into a fun game to see how many 10 s they can add to 10.10.10. I will get them to save the 10th good deed of giving mommy 10 kisses at 10.10 am. That makes a total of eight 10 s comprising: 10th day Month of the 10th Year of the 10th 10 am 10 minutes past 10 10 th second 10 good deeds 10 kisses Mr OWO: What a swell idea. Give you a 10 for that! Try making it into ten10s.

the editor on "Something on Anger"

the editor — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 00:04:35 +0000

Jules: Can you help me with this strong negative emotion, anger? Mr OWO: Ah, the stuff which burns you in your attempt to burn others! Jules: How is that? Mr OWO: Tell me, who suffers when one is angry? Yes the person who is angry certainly is suffering. Not just emotionally but physically. His body aches with tension. He could end up with a headache. He can't nourish himself because he has no appetite and might just refuse to eat. He continues to fumes for hours or days. Physiologically, there is more harm. The heart rate is beating fast and that causes a lot of strain on the poor heart. The poor cells can't get enough oxygen because breathing has become shallow. What more harm can the bodily hormones produced in an angry person inflict on the body I shall not add. Jules: You forgot to add the negative karma! Mr OWO: Yes, you are learning well. In addition to causing oneself suffering when one is angry, the other person whom you wrought your anger on also suffers. That is bad karma, for causing others to suffer. Jules: Anything we can do about our anger? Mr OWO: Yes there is. First, we can't live in denial. We cannot deny that there is a problem in us we have to fix, that we have to manage our anger. We should take responsibility for our negative emotion and not ascribe all the blame to someone else or an event. We need to use our wisdom, to reflect on our actions, thoughts and emotions. With that in mind, then we are open to new learnings and to change our perception to life events. Master Manoj, a yoga teacher talks about the choice we have in aligning with either your lower self, the jiva (mind based) capacity or the atman (our higher true self, the spirit within) nature. The mind based nature focuses on thoughts and emotions while atman will be equanimity and freedom. One (identification with jiva/mind) will lead us to dukha (or suffering) as Master Manoj said and is also mentioned by the great sage, Patanjali. Not just dukha but the frustration and anger will also lead us to poor physical health which I have mentioned earlier . You can read more about negative emotions and their ill effects from this article and this if you want to find out more. Also on type A personality. I have learned that our negative emotions is something in us which we have to work on and take responsibility for. It is not the world out there that is causing us dukha. Our wrong perception and acceptance of thoughts as reality is the cause. The proof is that the same event which happens to another person will have a different consequence or reaction. So it is not the life event but the perceiver of the thought who has brought to himself the anger. I have also learned that if there is something out there that is causing me anger, then it means I have yet to fully cultivate patience and calmness and also learn to be more compassionate to the other person (as anger inflicted on others also causes anxiety to them) and to myself (for the pain I am putting myself through). Patience, compassion and equanimity are qualities of atman which we have to cultivate so that we lead happier lives and become better people.

the editor on "Careful with what you say on Twitter, Facebook, etc"

the editor — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 14:45:52 +0000

Jules: Anything wise to say about internet social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook? Mr OWO: While yes using Twitter, Facebook, etc is a great and fun way to stay in touch, don't get caught doing something you will regret. Jules: Want to expand on that? Mr OWO: First, you have to recognise that the moment you hit the button on what you have to say, there is no turning back. It is like an arrow which has left the bow. The message is broadcast instantaneously to a mass audience. So if you are not being mindful of what you are saying, regret might just be the result. Jules: You mean like the recent tearful apology for a gay slur by an Olympic gold medalist Stephanie on Twitter. She used a derogatory remark and later apologised saying her comments were thoughtless and careless. She was called an idiot for her homophobic comment. Mr OWO: And what did she learn from the episode? Jules: These are her words - " I've learned I must think before I speak. I 've also learned that some things you say can mean more to others than they do to you." She felt she had let a lot of people down and how out of character it was. This was her apology - "I owe it to those who I have offended to publicly say, I am sorry. It is not me to give offence to other people no matter who they are. I am not a person who judges others or speaks in a way that hurts others. Mr OWO: Excellent lesson learnt but unfortunately the hard way. We should therefore take this opportunity to learn from the mistakes of others. Not so painful that way! I am sure she is wiser now. Social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook are also not the places to vent your frustrations and anger on others or of things because when you are in that state of mind, it is your emotions doing the talking. If your emotions are negative, the words you are going to use are also going to be negative. Emotions don't last. They come and go. And when they go, you realise a little too late the harm you have already caused. So be careful when you use Twitter, Facebook or the likes. But don't let that stop you from having fun!

the editor on "Where is the Mirror of My Soul"

the editor — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 12:33:17 +0000

Jules: If you are having the question "Where is the Mirror of My Soul" asked but without an answer, this might be it. I came across this little note titled Mirror. Very simple but quite profound. It needs a little contemplation before the meaning sinks in. Have a good read. The good you find in others, is in you too. The faults you find in others, are your faults as well. After all, to recognize something you must know it. The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty you see around you, is your beauty. The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are. To change your world, you must change yourself. To blame and complain will only make matters worse. Whatever you care about, is your responsibility. What you see in others, shows you yourself. See the best in others, and you will be your best. Give to others, and you give to yourself. Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful. Admire creativity, and you will be creative. Love, and you will be loved. Seek to understand, and you will be understood. Listen, and your voice will be heard.

rifyraina on "Meaning of Yoga"

rifyraina — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 12:08:47 +0000

This is really useful tips for everyone, yoga is most popular exercise, and I will going thought your tips, this is safe and useful and easy to do.

The main think is that there is not side effect of yoga, but just aware from injuries, be safe.

running tights

the editor on "Should I Marry Her?"

the editor — Sun, 30 May 2010 15:02:23 +0000

Jules: Since our last posting was on who to marry and in continuation of that 'hot" topic, here is another question: Should I marry her (or him) ? Mr OWO: Socrates, the famous Greek philosopher response to such a question posed to him was - "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.." Jules: I wonder why he said that. What kind of wife did he have? Mr OWO: He was married to a lady who was reputed to have a sharp tougue and quick temper. Guess what he said, when asked why he married the woman? Jules: Now I see why he said what he said. Either way, in marriage to another person one would gain something. If not happiness, then it would be wisdom. So that explains why he ended up being such a great philosopher! Mr OWO: While we are on the subject of love and marriage. You might appreciate this quote from him - From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate. Jules: Strange that you are telling me this quote. I just read in the newspaper this news headline: "Killed by lover and gang". You did think that if you love someone you would not harm the person. Mr OWO: I think there is some confusion here between love and desire. I don't blame you. There seems to be a thin line between the two. True love is unconditional. It is a love born out of kindness and concern for the other. Yes true love has elements of desire but it is stronger than desire because it can check or keep in line a desire that is not met. Desire on its own does not contain love. It is purely an emotional state. Desire is mistaken for love and is conditional upon another person fulfilling a selfish need. You can guess what could happen if a deep desire is not fulfilled and where there is no true love. Socrates wise words partly explains why the person who supposedly desires (which we now know is not true love) one could also kill his/her lover. So be a little careful when you make your choice. Jules: How do I do that? Mr OWO: That is easy. Just take your time to know the person better.

the editor on "It is Mother's Day"

the editor — Sun, 09 May 2010 15:58:55 +0000

Jules: Any words of wisdom on Mother's Day? Mr OWO: Certainly. Somebody said this - "My mother is incomplete. She gave part of herself away when she gave birth to me". What do you think is the meaning of this? Jules: I guess she gave away her shapely body, her hobbies, her private time with daddy, her love for high heels, her sense of well being (since she would be worrying about me),... Mr OWO: There is one important thing. She also gave up her time which could have been spent cultivating herself into a better person. She is always running here and there taking care of you. So don't expect your mother to be perfect. Most important of all is the unconditional love she gives to you. Happy Mother's Day.

the editor on "Whom Not To Marry"

the editor — Mon, 03 May 2010 15:44:39 +0000

Jules: Got any advice on who to marry since I hear so much of brokenhearted relationships which is a source of great anxiety for so many poor souls.

Mr OWO: Before anything gets complicated, it is better to avoid it in the first place. Yes and that also applies to marriages or serious relationships. I don't mean avoiding the marriage but to minimise complications from arising. The most important of all is to know your partner really well before you get hitched. Not just who his friends are, his family but also his values and personality.

Jules: How do I do all that? It is going to take awhile for me to arrive at a reasonably reliable conclusion.

Mr OWO: Well if is going to be a life partner, one year is not a very long time to let you make up your mind and to have a pretty good picture of the kind of person your partner really is.

Jules: OK. What about tell tale signs to look out for?

Mr OWO: Watch out for men who:

Do not have friends
Put you down in public
Can't control their temper
Are rude to waiters
Are unable to laugh at themselves
Are bad with money such as running a huge credit card bill that does not get paid off or have no savings at all
Do not do any housework at all
Blame everyone else but themselves
Never introduce their relatives to you
Borrow money from you
Go dutch on every single thing

Jules: I think that is quite enough for now. How about one for the guys?

Mr OWO: Girls have more to lose! Well to be fair, we will do a list to watch out for for guys on whom not to marry the next time. Remind me.

the editor on "Why Would A Person Kill Himself?"

the editor — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:26:50 +0000

Jules: It is not uncommon to hear or read of people killing themselves these days. It is always because the person feels that there is no way out of his life predicament. He has become overwhelmed by his situation and does not realise that it is his perception that has created the negativity. The fact that two persons can be in the same life dilemma but one decides to take his own life shows the difference in perception. Here is the excerpt of a story by Jeff Clark. It is about what to say to your kid should he ask you "why would a person kill himself?". Here it goes: "I didn't sleep at all last night. Sometime around midnight, my 8-year-old son crawled into bed with me and my wife. When he noticed my eyes were open, he asked me a question that sent my heart racing... "Daddy," he asked, "why would a person kill himself?" My son had overheard a conversation between my wife and a friend. They were talking about a neighbor who, burdened by financial concerns, drove to a nearby reservoir. As he watched the sun set behind the hills, he stuck a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I picked up my son, carried him out to the kitchen table, poured him a giant glass of milk, and tried as best I could to answer his question... "Son," I said, "sometimes a person forgets how valuable his life is. He gets overwhelmed by temporary concerns and problems and he doesn't remember that God gave him the strength to overcome any challenge." "But Grandpa's neighbor was a strong man," my son replied, "and he did the same thing." Two months ago, my father-in-law's neighbor – a 60-year-old police officer, six months away from retirement – came home early, pulled his car into the garage, took out his service revolver, and ended his life. We found out later he was suffering financially. He was upside-down on a number of real estate deals and on the verge of bankruptcy. "You're right, Carson" I said. "Mr. Owen was a strong man. I think he just forgot how strong he was." "You won't forget, will you, Daddy?" Carson asked. His words hit me like a Louisville Slugger across the forehead, and I finally realized why he had trouble sleeping. "Sweetheart," I said, "I'm Hercules. I'm the strongest man in the world, and I'll never forget it. You're strong, too. And so is your brother, and so is Mommy. Your grandparents are strong. Your friends are strong, and your friends' families are strong, too. And if anybody starts to forget it, we'll be sure to remind them, OK?" "OK, Daddy" he said, and his arms squeezed around my neck as I tucked him back into bed. I sat with him, holding his hand as he fell asleep. Jules: Hope that helps some parent who might have to face the possibility of explaining suicide to a kid. But you have to remember that you need to cultivate your mind to remember that you are strong. Here could be one way....through the peaceatwork

the editor on "What Do I Do With My Life?"

the editor — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:06:40 +0000

Jules: You know a lot of young people have this life dilemma and invariably ask the all important question - "What do I do with my life?". I came across this interesting article. Have a read of the excerpt: "First off you are all GREAT! Your brilliant writing and ideas encourage other's growth. I am a young financial professional (investment advisor) considering trading, investment banking, or international finance. I am happy where I'm at but not satisfied, I feel like I haven't reached my full potential. I would like to work in NYC or Chicago, and wouldn't be opposed to international opportunities. I have an undergrad degree in finance, but am strongly considering an MBA. Would you agree this is best route to developing my career? If not, I am open to any and all advice." – Ian Porter comment: You're unlikely to follow this advice, but here's what I recommend. First, figure out what you want to do with your time. Not your life. Just your time. If you think really hard about what you want to do every day next week, you'll stumble onto what you should be doing with your life. That's actually the hard part, believe it or not. Most people don't think this way. They have some idea of what they think they should be doing with their lives – and the ideas are usually pretty big and grandiose. In the meantime, they don't stop and consider what the day to day will be like once they've "arrived." Take doctors. Lots of folks want to be doctors because it's challenging to get through med school and because they believe they can get rich in medicine. Then... once they've racked up $50,000 in debt (or more) and completed 12 years of training, they suddenly realize they're going to spend almost every day for the rest of their lives in a hospital, surrounded by sick and dying people. They discover that working every day with the public is simply retail. Wearing a white coat doesn't actually make it all that much more enjoyable. (Obviously, some people love being doctors... but I've met lots and lots of people who didn't love the long hours or constantly being subjected to the medical emergencies – real or imagined – of their patients.) So you might think you want to be in finance – but what does that really mean to you, in terms of what you'll be doing day to day? Lots of folks want to be investment bankers, until they spend five years doing that kind of work, which normally entails spending all night, several times a week, working a copying machine. Or spending days on end in front of a Bloomberg terminal. Or learning how to make love using an Excel spreadsheet. Figure out the day-to-day stuff first, not last. And don't kid yourself. You won't be able to fake it. Here's why this is so important: Eventually, you're going to have to compete against people who actually love what they're doing every single day. They love it so much they literally devote their entire lives to doing it. They will sacrifice everything just to be the best at this thing they do. You will meet people like this, no matter what field you end up in. And they will crush you if you don't actually love what you're doing on a day-to-day basis. In the real world, there's a huge difference between the 20% at the top and everyone else. If you don't truly love what you do every day, you'll never be in the top 20%. And you'll never be very successful. Once you've figured out what you want to do each day, find the 10 best people in the world at it. Don't narrow your search to Chicago or New York. Chances are, the 10 best don't live there. They'll live in much, much nicer places, like Aspen or Miami or Newport Beach. And you'll want to live there too, trust me. Spend a while researching these guys. Get to know every single thing about them. Act like a private detective. Spend three months on each guy. Pay attention to how these guys actually spend their time. Make sure that's what you want to do with your time, too. Finally... approach them. The best way to do this is to compliment their work and to send them ideas that mirror their approach. Show them you love to do what they do and you're good at it. Find a way to make their lives easier or better. Then, volunteer to work for them, for free, for as long as it takes to prove your value to them. Be prepared for them all to say "no" at least a dozen times. They're just testing you. Very few people turn down a young, hard-working, bright person who is self-directed who volunteers to work for free – if he's persistent. Regards, Porter Stansberry and Sean Goldsmith Jules: It has a lot to do with doing what you love. And doing what you love is doing what you do in your own time. It is not about some great dream of living in an opulent house or driving a red Ferrari. Nor is it about being too practical about whether there will be demand for the kind of work you do ie using economic measures or considerations. The bottom line is when you have passion for your work, you can be the best. And if you are the best in the thing you have chosen to do, there will always be demand for your work. Hope the above helps some young person in answering the question - 'What do I do with my life"

the editor on "Happy Belated Birthday - Giving Is Receiving"

the editor — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:34:18 +0000

Mr OWO: Sorry for being late but heard it was your birthday last Friday and a big one too. Happy Belated Birthday wishes anyway. May your heart's desire come true. So how old are you? Jules: Yes, I turned 5 minus the zero. But it is no big deal though my kids thought it was. I always believed that only the young or very old celebrate birthdays. The young can't wait to get another year older, so that they can get their driver's licence I bet while the old managed to live through another year! Mr OWO: So anything special you did? Jules: Birthdays always seem to focus on the birthday person receiving gifts. I thought why not instead I turn it into a day of giving. I started with doing some housework like sweeping and mopping the floor so that the lady of the house didn't have to do that for the day. Next I brought some cookies with me to visit the old folks home where I sometimes bring my children to play music to entertain the residents. The people there are pretty lonely. You know, you don't have to know anyone there to visit such a place. The old residents will talk to any stranger. I then ended the evening buying dinner for some relatives. Mr OWO: That was a great way on how you spent your birthday. Yes I remember you getting your kids on each of their birthdays to do something charitable. Good practice of giving on a day when you should be receiving. You might have forgotten this as I have mentioned before: Giving is receiving. By giving you are actually gaining in being more generous, thoughtful and considerate. Jules: Yes, I forgot that. When the old folk named Paul whom I met thanked me for the cookies, I just said the pleasure was all mine. I should have thanked him in return for that and the opportunity to improve myself.

the editor on "Simple But Useful Parenting Tips"

the editor — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:00:56 +0000

Jules: Here are some simple but useful parenting tips to be a more aware parent: 1. When you talk to a child, bend down on your knees so that you are at the same level as the child. Other than not giving the child a sore neck, you are treating the child with respect, as an equal. 2. Instead of saying "No way" to a child when a request is made. Say "Yes but only after...." when you would like her to attend to something else first. This way, it would not undermine the child's confidence to request for things from you or make the child feel rejected. 3. Children's expectations need to be managed. Forewarned them before you end something. Like if you are reading to a child a book, tell the child the page you will be stopping before you begin reading or if you want the children to stop playing, tell them that they have 10 ten minutes to end the game. Same with the television. 4. Talk to your child frequently. Ask her about events in school during the day. Some questions you could pose to your child are: who did you have lunch with? what funny thing happened today? 5. Children are emotional creatures. They feel before they think. Parents as adults should have greater awareness and not use their emotions to parent children. Emotions are unreliable and actions based on (negative) emotions usually result in regret. You simply cannot respond to a child's negative emotion with your own negative emotion. You will need to use your intellect or the conscious thought of your higher mind to guide you with a wise response.

the editor on "Wisdom To Begin The New Year"

the editor — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:00:34 +0000

Jules: Happy New Year friends of the journey of life and unrelenting Seekers. I thought I would begin the new year with some wisdom from the West. Actually it does not really matter where wisdom comes from for so long as we can learn and be wiser from the teachings. It is from Marcus Aurelius and his book "The Meditations": If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it. And it is in your power to wipe out this judgment now. Be like the jutting rock against which waves are constantly crashing, and all around it the frothing foam then settles back down. Say not “Oh, I am so unfortunate that this has happened to me.” But rather “How fortunate I am that, even though this has happened to me, I continue uninjured, neither terrified by the present nor in fear of the future.” Never consider anything to be beneficial to you which could ever compel you to violate your faith in yourself, to abandon your modesty, to hate anybody, to be overly suspicious, cursing, disingenuous, or to lust after anything which must be hidden behind walls or veils. Wisdom and right action are the same thing. Whenever you notice someone else going astray, immediately turn and examine how you yourself have gone astray, for example, esteeming money, pleasure, reputation, or something else, as if it were the highest good. Examine yourself in this way and you will quickly forget your anger. People seek retreats for themselves in the country, by the sea, and near the mountains, and you too are especially prone to desire such things. But this is a sign of ignorance, since you have the power to retire within yourself whenever you wish. For nowhere can a person retire more full of peace and free from care than into his own soul. Kindness is unconquerable, so long as it is without flattery or hypocrisy. For what can the most insolent man do to you if you continue to be kind to him? The noblest way of taking revenge on others is by refusing to become like them. If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is wrong, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one ever was truly harmed. Someone else may ask: “How may I possess that?” But you should ask: “How may I not covet that?” Someone else asks: “How can I be rid of him?” But you: “How can I not wish to be rid of him?” Another: “How may I not lose my little child?” But you: “How may I not dread the loss of my child?” Turn your prayers around entirely, and see what happens. Jules: Oh, Marcus Aurelius was an Emperor of Rome and died in 180AD. It goes to show that wisdom is timeless. Hope you find this wisdom to begin the new year useful. I will end by sincerely wishing for you: "That your heart be peaceful and free That your mind be clear and calm That your body be strong and healthy That you be well and happy That you gain great wisdom in your life journey"

the editor on "Sad Feelings"

the editor — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:23:26 +0000

Jules: Where do our sad feelings come from? Mr OWO: Our feelings come from six sources namely - our five senses and our thoughts. Actually the five senses translate into thoughts. Jules: So is it our thoughts which determine if we have sad feelings? Mr OWO: Tell me. Would you be having sad feelings if you did not have the sad thought? Jules: Nope. Mr OWO: See, no thoughts no feelings. Just like when you are asleep unless if you are having dreams. Jules: What should I do about my negative or bad feelings? Mr OWO: First you have understand that feelings are just feelings. They are bad when you attach a judgement of their state. Good feelings like bad feelings will come and they will go. They won't go away only because you have placed them in your memory. With a sad memory recall, the thoughts will create negative emotions for you. Jules: So what can I do about such sad feelings? Mr OWO: First, understand what I have just said of the nature of feelings. Second, watch those thoughts and feelings and tell yourself that you are not going to allow yourself to react to those thoughts. Try practising when you are having good feelings. Tell yourself that these are just good feelings and they won't last. Here is a simile: Imagine yourself at a train station observing trains going by. You are not going to get on board any of the trains that come by. There will be sad trains and there will be happy trains. Just observe them. So with some practise, you can do the same with your negative thoughts which cause you the sad feelings. Jules: How does one get good feelings most of the time instead having bad or sad feelings? Mr OWO: That is easy. You just have to do good things. Jules: You mean easy to say but hard to practise! Mr OWO: Unfortunately or fortunately, that is the rule of life. You do good and you will receive good. The converse will also hold true. Jules: Thank you for the wisdom. I am going to the train station now to say goodbye to my sad feelings!

the editor on "Should I Tell Someone"

the editor — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:11:21 +0000

Jules: Hi Mr OWO. You know there is this dilemma that I frequently have and that is should I tell someone something. Mr OWO: I will let the great philosopher Socrates answer that question for you with this little story: One day an acquaintance met Socrates and said, "Do you know that I just heard about your friend?". "Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the Triple Filter Test". The first filter is Truth. "Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" "No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it and....". "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. "Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?". "No, on the contrary...". "So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. "Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?". "No, not really". "Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor useful, why tell it to me at all?" Jules: That is a great answer to should I tell someone something. I have to remember to consider the Triple Filter Test everytime I want to tell someone something. Mr OWO: You should also use the same considerations when you use the email. You are sparing your friends of not having a long list of unread emails and some free time to do something more useful.

the editor on "The Purpose And Meaning of Life"

the editor — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 05:51:49 +0000

Jules: Can we come back to The Purpose and Meaning of Life. You once said that the Purpose and Meaning of Life is to make the world a better place and to make oneself into a better person. How do I do that? Mr OWO: Making the world into a better place is not too difficult. Where you see pain, sorrow, sadness and unsatisfactory states, do something. Make things better for others. Make a difference to the lives of others. Of course, if you can't do good, don't do bad although doing this alone is not enough to say that you have managed to live a life of purpose. Man is the smartest living being on earth. We therefore have the responsibility to be mindful of our actions. That we cause no harm to others and that we use our intelligence to improve things around us. Jules: And how about becoming a better person? Mr OWO: That involves self transformation. To create happiness in our lives, we need a good strong and healthy mind. If your mind is good, everything you see around you will be good and you will be happy. If your mind is not good, everything will appear unfavourable, and you will be unhappy. Such is the nature of the mind and how it influences our lives. Jules: So, how do I get to have a good mind? Mr OWO: You will need to generate good thoughts. Our thoughts condition our speech and body actions. For instance, if we are feeling angry from the thought interpretation of a particular event, the resulting action could see us lash out in fury or even possibly commit an act of violence. In addition, our speech and body actions will influence the state of our mind. For example, if one were to cause harm and lie, one will experience a sense of guilt and remorse. One's mind will not be at ease. So, to have a good mind, you will need to be more careful with your thoughts, speech and actions. We also need to be mindful, humble and respectful, and to be committed to developing a truly sincere and forgiving heart - to seek forgiveness for our shortcomings, to forgive others as well as forgiving ourselves of our unskillful actions and then make amends to our behavior. These are practices which we have to undertake in order to cultivate ourselves to become better people than when we each of us first set our feet on earth. So, are you clear now on The Purpose and Meaning of Life? Jules: Yes, I see that I have to do good and to cultivate my mind in your answer to my question of The Purpose and Meaning of Life.

the editor on "Staying In Balance"

the editor — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:14:53 +0000

Jules: Can we talk about staying in balance? I have a pretty moody boss. He can be darn rude at times. He even uses some pretty crude language. Sometimes I find myself affected by his behavior and get thrown off balance. Either I respond just as emotionally by telling him off or I don't feel good about what he has said. What can I do about it?Mr OWO: Yes, this is a common problem that a lot of people have. It is not just at work but at anytime in the conduct of daily lives. It can also happen at home with a spouse and whoever we interact with in our life. That are many ways to deal with this kind of problem. I will give you one suggestion today for staying in balance. Try this. Investigate the times when you are moody. When would that be?Jules: Usually it is when I am tired and want some rest.Mr OWO: Our human body has its limitations. Any other situations?Jules: When something is bothering me. Well, like what you said there are so many people and situations which put us in a negative state.Mr OWO: And do you find yourself getting irritated even with someone else who is not the cause of that negative state in the first place?Jules: I most certainly have.Mr OWO: Most of the time it is like this. Your boss could be a moody sort of fellow and his state of being could have started with an argument with his wife at the breakfast table or that he has had an early morning message on his Blackberry from his own boss on why he missed a deal. He is having troubles of his own dealing with his own negative emotions to his life situations. Add whatever you have done or did not do to the list and you can imagine the strain he is going through. So take a different perspective. Do not take it personally but just shrug it off. Be understanding towards your boss as he is having a hard time. You will find that you won't dwell on the encounter with your boss because you have not taken his actions to heart. You should then be able to preserve your own positive state and to stay in balance.Jules: I never thought that changing a point of view could make a difference to preserving one's positive state.. Thought I had to look at ways to handle my negative emotions after such encounters with my boss.Mr OWO: This is better. The negative state does not even arise and you do not have a problem to resolve.Jules: Thanks for the perspective of staying in balance.

the editor on "Learning Life Wisdom and True Love"

the editor — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 23:44:15 +0000

Jules: Learning life wisdom is so important. Here is why. I once had a colleague who told me that his mother had Alzeheimer disease and could not even remember him as his son whenever he visited her at the home for the aged. I thought it was quite meaningless for him to regularly visit his mother. I now understood I was wrong when I read the following story recently - Remembering It was a busy morning, about 8:30 , when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived at the hospital to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I was a doctor and had just finished my shift. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. Mr OWO: That is an interesting story about learning life wisdom and true love. Jules: Yes life wisdom has taught me what to do and not to do and why some people do the things that they do.

the editor on "What Is Life's Meaning?"

the editor — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:40:04 +0000

Jules: Can we get back to some basics on what the Vedanta says about the human life and try to answer the question " What is life's meaning?" Dr Vin: Sure.Want to try to describe your life? Jules: Well, one day I may feel happy, another day sad or frustrated. Dr Vin: So, you can see life is a stream of experiences. The question is how do improve the quality of our experiences. In order to answer this question, we need to establish if the experiencer or the object bringing about the experience determines the nature of our experience. What do you think? Jules: I can't help but to sometimes blame the world, the other person, the event for my negative emotions. Dr Vin: Lets look at a couple of life experiences. A smoker enjoys the smoke of a cigarette. A non-smoker would view the smoke with disgust. Another example, a man wanting to divorce a woman whom he can no longer withstand. While another man waits in the wings wanting to desperately marry the same woman. As you can see, the same situation for two different persons offer different experiences. Jules: So it is the experiencer who determines the quality of his experience. To be continued next week to get closer to answering the question of what is life's meaning.

the editor on "What Is The Right Religion To Follow?"

the editor — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 05:38:59 +0000

Jules: There is this great paradox in life. Religion is supposed to make us more disciplined, more civil and to love one another. Peace, respect and love should be the common core values of all religions. But the reality of religion is far from this expectation and many people are asking "What is the right religion to follow?" Mr OWO: Religion has become a convenient and powerful instrument to influence the masses. Yes, feelings of hatred by religious people appear to be a common phenomenon. Jonathan Swift, English satrist, (1667- 1745) lamented: "We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another". Do we blame the religion or man's inability to discriminate what is right and what is wrong and to have their actions determined by their deluded thinking? Jules: I was tempted to say that it is through the fault of religion that we have so much disharmony amongst the various races of mankind. Then I equated that question with another one: "Whether money was the root of all evil?". The answer I have discovered is man's greed and not money. Mr OWO: Yes it is the human weakness which has to be overcome. The teachings of a True religion takes us beyond our human and mundane perspective. The teachings are universal truths and cannot even be labeled as part of a religion. It is about the spiritual quality of mankind so that we would view every man as a part of the universal consciousness. That we are all ONE. When we realise that, then we will not hurt one another. So does that answer your question of what is the right religion to follow? Jules: Yes. Thank you for the spiritual wisdom

the editor on "Bad Investment Advice"

the editor — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:44:03 +0000

Since it is the anniversary of the Lehman collapse, I thought it would be wise to come up with a list of Bad Investment Advice. Here they are: Signing up for something you do not understand. Agreeing to any investment with an unlimited downside risk. Thinking of short term gains. Accepting something that is too good to be true Taking volatility knowing that peace of mind is important to you. Not recognising that there is always a change in business cycles. Upturns are followed by downturns. Any good economic conditions longer than 7 years then you have to be cautious. Taking big bets or borrow to invest. Borrowing in a currency that has risen in value or borrow to invest in an asset with a different currency of return. These are some of the things to keep in mind so that you do not listen to Bad Investment Advice.

the editor on "Psychology of the Mind"

the editor — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:15:02 +0000

Mr OWO: The mind is a very fascinating thing. The power of the mind to believe in something is amazing. Jules: What do you mean? Mr OWO: I mean the mind is so powerful that whatever it chooses to believe can determine the outcome of an event. Jules: Give me an example of this psychology of the mind Mr OWO: There was a much publicised case in the 1980s. A technician, repairing the locking mechanism of a refrigerated train car, accidently locked himself in. It was a Saturday evening and all his colleagues had gone home, so shouting for help did not work. He knew that Sunday was a day off for everyone in the repair yard and that he would remain locked in until Monday morning. This was not really a problem until he remembered that as it was a refrigerated car, he would freeze to death before Monday. He started writing his thoughts as the hours slowly passed. He wrote how cold and miserable he was. His last words, penned at around 8pm on Sunday night, were: "These are probably my last words. My hand is frozen solid. I don't think I can write anymore." They found him dead on Monday morning. This, in itself, is not a particularly remarkable story, until you examine its second half. When the police were examining the circumstances that led to his death, they were astounded to discover that the refrigeration system was actually faulty and had not been working during the weekend. The refrigerant had leaked on Saturday evening and only the fan had remained in working condition. In effect, the man could not have frozen to death as the freezing mechanism was simply not working. There was no foul play and the man's writings showed that he had not committed suicide. The belief that he would freeze to death , which the man embedded in his mind, killed him. The man had fallen victim to his own mind. Jules: Great story on the psychology of the mind. Yes sometimes I tend to perceive a certain situation as harmful and this perception or belief becomes a self-fulling prophecy. Mr OWO: The human mind recognises only opportunities and threats and oscillates between both these extremes. Any scenarios that is in between is often not regarded as a likely outcome and conveniently ignored, when in fact there are multiple possible endings to the story.

the editor on "President Obama's Speech To Students"

the editor — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:03:24 +0000

Jules: Here is the text of President Obama's Speech To Students. Get your kid to read it. It will be a great inspiration. The President certainly gives some pretty good speeches including this first day back to school speech to students. By The Associated Press The Associated Press – Tue Sep 8, 3:18 am ET The prepared text of President Barack Obama's back-to-school address scheduled for Tuesdays, as released in advance by the White House: Hello, everyone — how's everybody doing today? I'm here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we've got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through 12th grade. I'm glad you all could join us today. I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it's your first day in a new school, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you're in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could've stayed in bed just a little longer this morning. I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn't have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday — at 4:30 in the morning. Now I wasn't too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I'd fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster." So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I'm here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I'm here because I want to talk with you about your education and what's expected of all of you in this new school year. Now I've given a lot of speeches about education. And I've talked a lot about responsibility. I've talked about your teachers' responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn. I've talked about your parents' responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don't spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox. I've talked a lot about your government's responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren't working where students aren't getting the opportunities they deserve. But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. And that's what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself. Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide. Maybe you could be a good writer — maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper — but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor — maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine — but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a senator or a Supreme Court justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team. And no matter what you want to do with your life — I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You're going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can't drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You've got to work for it and train for it and learn for it. And this isn't just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you're learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future. You'll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You'll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You'll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy. We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don't do that — if you quit on school — you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on your country. Now I know it's not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork. I get it. I know what that's like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn't always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn't fit in. So I wasn't always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I'm not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse. But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our first lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn't have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country. Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don't have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there's not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don't feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren't right. But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life — what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you've got going on at home — that's no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That's no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That's no excuse for not trying. Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future. That's what young people like you are doing every day, all across America. Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn't speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez. I'm thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who's fought brain cancer since he was three. He's endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer — hundreds of extra hours — to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he's headed to college this fall. And then there's Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she's on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college. Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren't any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same. That's why today, I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education — and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you'll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you'll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you'll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you'll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don't feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter. Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it. I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work — that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you're not going to be any of those things. But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won't love every subject you study. You won't click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try. That's OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. J.K. Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." These people succeeded because they understand that you can't let your failures define you — you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn't mean you're a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn't mean you're stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying. No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a song. You've got to practice. It's the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it's good enough to hand in. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust — a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor — and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals. And even when you're struggling, even when you're discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you — don't ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country. The story of America isn't about people who quit when things got tough. It's about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best. It's the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other. So today, I want to ask you, what's your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country? Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I'm working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you've got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don't let us down — don't let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America. -This is the end of President Obama's Speech to Students