Jules: Here are some simple but useful parenting tips to be a more aware parent:
1. When you talk to a child, bend down on your knees so that you are at the same level as the child. Other than not giving the child a sore neck, you are treating the child with respect, as an equal.
2. Instead of saying “No way” to a child when a request is made. Say “Yes but only after….” when you would like her to attend to something else first. This way, it would not undermine the child’s confidence to request for things from you or make the child feel rejected.
3. Children’s expectations need to be managed. Forewarned them before you end something. Like if you are reading to a child a book, tell the child the page you will be stopping before you begin reading or if you want the children to stop playing, tell them that they have 10 ten minutes to end the game. Same with the television.
4. Talk to your child frequently. Ask her about events in school during the day. Some questions you could pose to your child are:
- who did you have lunch with?
- what funny thing happened today?
5. Children are emotional creatures. They feel before they think. Parents as adults should have greater awareness and not use their emotions to parent children. Emotions are unreliable and actions based on (negative) emotions usually result in regret. You simply cannot respond to a child’s negative emotion with your own negative emotion. You will need to use your intellect or the conscious thought of your higher mind to guide you with a wise response.
